Stop Microsoft

All Things Microsoft => Microsoft as a Company => Topic started by: Xeen on 1 December 2003, 02:51

Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: Xeen on 1 December 2003, 02:51
Get ready for your car to crash every day.
Get ready to restart your car every 2 hours.
Get ready for your breaks to lock up for no reason.
Get ready for BSODs on your odometer.
Get ready to abort, retry, and have your car fail.
Get ready for thieves to easily get in your car.
Get ready for weekly trips to your mechanic for critical auto updates.

Because Microsoft is about to give the word "crash" a whole new meaning!

 
quote:
First Microsoft set out to put a computer in every home. Now the software giant hopes to put one in every vehicle, too.

"We'd like to have one of our operating systems in every car on Earth," said Dick Brass, vice-president of Microsoft's automotive business unit.

Cars with the Microsoft software will speak up when it's time for an oil change. They'll warn drivers about wrecks on the road ahead and scout alternative routes. They'll pay freeway tolls automatically. The software running their brakes will upgrade itself wirelessly.




It's no joke either: Microsoft Automotive Department (http://www.microsoft.com/automotive/)

You should cry now. They're using Windows for this too. Windows Automotive (http://www.microsoft.com/automotive/windowsautomotive/)

[ April 09, 2004: Message edited by: xeen ]

Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: The Anti-Microsoft on 1 December 2003, 03:51
Yes, and Windows will even be able to:

i) Take $10,000 from your debit account and send it to M$ (licen$ing fee)
ii) Drive your car into a ditch for no reason
iii) Blow up your car afterwards
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: Xeen on 1 December 2003, 06:38
Posted by Pikachu:

 
quote:
Let's draw some parallels between winblows XP (x-tra pusbag) and the product which would be produced if Microshit built cars:

They would clain the newest version would start faster, while in reality, all that happens is you can get the key in the ignition sooner. (TRANSLATION: The GUI comes up in an earlier run-level, but you can't actually use it until it finishes booting.)

It would be much faster than any existing car.
(TRANSLATION: As long as you use only gasoline which is on the official Microshit Gasoline Compatability List. In any event you will need to tow a tanker truck, because the new Microshit approved gasoline is very, very bloated.)

It will give itself its own tune-ups!
(However, the parts it replaces are tossed in the trunk and get hopelessly lost. Eventually, after a number of tune-ups, the trunk is full, the front wheels come off of the ground and the car crashes into a tree, requiring re-installation of every part of the car.

WOW, I've never had such a great test-drive!
The car would drive very well for the first few miles, then randomly start crashing into things, with no driver input whatsoever. To make the car operate properly for the next few miles, you would have to get out and simultaneously pull the door handle, open the hood and collapse the antenna. Only then will you be able to restart the car.

It would be equipped with the best tires available.
Unfortunately, by the time the tires are worn out, they are "no longer a supported product". The rim size is obsolete, and besides, why would you want to drive a car that old.....

Now after a few months, there have been so many problems with the Microshit car, the feds are considering a mandatory recall.
Microshit makes the recall unnecessary by "discounting" an "upgrade" car for current owners. The existing problems have been "supressed" (but replaced with a whole host of new ones). The replacement car is the same exact car, with a different paint job.

The process repeats, as now Microshit has "taken care" of its loyal sheep, and they all have a car which is "good enough".

I could go on, but by now if you haven't gotten the point, you never will.

Sound familiar? It should. Think back along the whole Winblows product line. They sell their patches to the sheep as though it was a brand new product!



Edit by moderator: There's no reason to start a new thread about Microsoft making cars an hour after one was already started on the same topic. Thus, I'm moving this post into this thread.
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: solarismka on 1 December 2003, 21:35
ok now THATS scary!
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: Refalm on 4 December 2003, 01:29
A TVR with a Galileo system or a BMW with a .NET connected MSN auto map-finder with Microsoft gasoline BS.

What would you choose.
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: mmx87 on 4 December 2003, 08:42
quote:
Originally posted by Refalm:
A TVR with a Galileo system or a BMW with a .NET connected MSN auto map-finder with Microsoft gasoline BS.

What would you choose.



Niether, I'd rather damn walk...thank you.   (http://smile.gif)
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: black crow on 5 December 2003, 03:56
Reminds me of that part in "2001: A Space Odyssey", where the computer "HAL" picks up a fault in the AE-35 unit (what that unit's function was I can't remember, it's ages since I've seen the film), & it turns out that said unit was in perfect working order.  I won't give too much away for those who haven't seen the film, but if you have, you know the rest.  The similarities are creepy... :-/

(Incidentally, 2001 is very good, if you haven't seen it, I'd recommend it.  It's a long film, but still well worth watching   (http://smile.gif)  )
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: Refalm on 5 December 2003, 04:13
quote:
mmx87: Niether, I'd rather damn walk...thank you.  (http://smile.gif)


I hate cars too, but I was saying "if you had to choose between those two"  :rolleyes:
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: Xeen on 5 December 2003, 21:47
(http://www.calyptos.com/forum/uploads/xeen_mscar.jpg)
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: Unforgiven1 on 7 December 2003, 21:46
is  there no escape?  why must microsoft attempt to monopolize everything?
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: rklesla on 31 December 2003, 19:52
I hate computers in cars.  Cars are pieces of machinery that computers should not take part in, especially from a software company that has been making OS's for 22yrs now and has yet to make a good product.  Except maybe microsoft fax.  Always thought that program was pretty good, simply, and non-complex... (http://smile.gif)
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: TheQuirk on 31 December 2003, 22:40
quote:
Originally posted by Microsoft's Caretaker:
I hate computers in cars.  Cars are pieces of machinery that computers should not take part in, especially from a software company that has been making OS's for 22yrs now and has yet to make a good product.  Except maybe microsoft fax.  Always thought that program was pretty good, simply, and non-complex...  (http://smile.gif)  
Oh, you're perfectly right. I mean, it's SO much easier to create proper ignition timing using magical mechanics.
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: rklesla on 1 January 2004, 01:11
Timing wasn't hard to begin with.  Plus cars were alot easier to fix and they didn't record everything you do in the car.
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: TheQuirk on 1 January 2004, 21:20
No, that's not true. http://auto.howstuffworks.com/ignition-system4.htm (http://auto.howstuffworks.com/ignition-system4.htm)

Older systems used an extra part, the section that "does the job of breaking the current to the coil", and you can bet your hat it caused you to work on your car more frequently.

You don't seem to realize something: mechanics are never "perfect." They always get screwed up in one way or another over time. Electronics minimizes this.
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: hm_murdock on 2 January 2004, 03:29
as I believe I've said before,

some of you guys...

1) need to learn about cars

2) blow things way outta proportion

"Microsoft gas"? that's about the STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD.

I have an idea if you don't have anything intelligent to say about MS, don't say it. I'm sick of the same 5 shitty jokes over and over.

I had a windows box running right beside my Macs for months. where are all these BSODs you guys talk about? where are the problems? WHERE ARE THEY?!?!

Where were the virii, where were the worms, where were these things that ALWAYS HAPPEN to Windows?

I'll tell you where they were...

IN YOUR HEAD.

In the even that nobody's noticed, Windows 98 isn't current anymore. We aren't living in the 1990s, the Decade of Mediocrity is over now. We're now in the 2000s, it's now the Decade of Marginal Quality.

Things are improving, and improving, and improving... everything from everybody is better than ever.

I don't think I've seen MS act a fool since the start of the anti-trust trials. They're certainly not doing anything I wouldn't do. I know Red Hat, Inc would do those things if they could, as would Apple.

You know it's true and you know I'm right, just as I always am.
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: billy_gates on 2 January 2004, 04:12
OWNED by Jimmy James and sweet sweet reasoning.
The truth is that Windows isn't THAT bad, but the more important truth is that it is getting better everyday.  This cannot be said for OSX and Linux.  Specifically Linux.  Where will they reach their maximum?  Because Windows gets fewer bugs and fewer security issues and fewer BSOD's with every release.  And with every release Windows gets slightly easier for the consumer.  In this sense the linux people may actually have to start doing something to compete with windows.  Actually you HAVE to fucking do something because Linux is probably the most retartedly hard OS ever.

[ January 01, 2004: Message edited by: jeffberg: Mac Capitalist ]

Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: Kintaro on 2 January 2004, 04:39
I will never let my car have Windows, ever, or any computer software, computers can fuck off. Im going to fix up a 1958 Ford Edsel, which is just badass, and im going to go around blowing up all the fucking ricers, with a rocket launcher.

Fucking computers, fuck I hate them.
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: Laukev7 on 2 January 2004, 04:51
I'll just take the bus, thank you.
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: Kupotek on 2 January 2004, 08:51
X11: Erudition is a gay name.       dont  waste  time posting hypocritical and worthless comments.

Everyone who  says they hate MS should have a valid reason, not something based on their own  technological lack of schooling of overcompensated ignorance.   You need hands on to know even begin to know what you are talking about.

Ive been using windows since windows95, and I may not be the most enthusiastic about windows, or where MS is going, personally, I think   it would be best of all if Microsoft put out windows barebones, and offered 3rd party software by companies who make better products be installed in their OS, as a way to help competition and the science community at large.

Windows could come as this kind of installer:

OS: Windows Version Here

Choose your Media Player:

You may choose between these players and may pick more then 1 be installed.

1) Windows Media Player 10
2) Winamp
3....

Choose your Mail Program:

1) Outlook Express
2) Eudora
3....

Choose your browser:

1) Internet Explorer
2) IE with Avant
3) Mozilla
4) Mozilla Firebird
5....
 

That way MS would be  helping the community.
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: Commander on 2 January 2004, 21:46
quote:
Windows could come as this kind of installer:

OS: Windows Version Here

Choose your Media Player:

You may choose between these players and may pick more then 1 be installed.

1) Windows Media Player 10
2) Winamp
3....

Choose your Mail Program:

1) Outlook Express
2) Eudora
3....

Choose your browser:

1) Internet Explorer
2) IE with Avant
3) Mozilla
4) Mozilla Firebird
5....

That way MS would be helping the community.
oh c'mon!!!!  be realistic!!!  if microsoft had ANY intension of helping the community, we would've already seen it...  and there is no CHOICE with ms.. and there never will be (then again, most ppl already know that).   billy boy there would hang and decapitate himself b4 he lets windows users 'choose' to install another browser or media player during installation.

and if windows ever gets in all the cars, i'll buy a bus pass and take the TTC!
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: rklesla on 2 January 2004, 17:38
quote:
Originally posted by TheQuirk: I Just Want Attention:
No, that's not true. http://auto.howstuffworks.com/ignition-system4.htm (http://auto.howstuffworks.com/ignition-system4.htm)

Older systems used an extra part, the section that "does the job of breaking the current to the coil", and you can bet your hat it caused you to work on your car more frequently.

You don't seem to realize something: mechanics are never "perfect." They always get screwed up in one way or another over time. Electronics minimizes this.



I don't need a website to tell me how to set the timing.  In the old days mechanics made mistakes, in the new days, computers make the mistake.  The mistakes are there.  Computers don't fix the problem, instead they create a problem and another computer has to figure out what the problem is.  This brings back the point that old cars were better to fix, mechanical mistakes were easier to point and fix.
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: rklesla on 2 January 2004, 17:49
quote:
Originally posted by jeffberg: Mac Capitalist:
OWNED by Jimmy James and sweet sweet reasoning.
The truth is that Windows isn't THAT bad, but the more important truth is that it is getting better everyday......Because Windows gets fewer bugs and fewer security issues and fewer BSOD's with every release.  And with every release Windows gets slightly easier for the consumer.



How is windows getting better, they create more bugs than they actually fix in the previous releases.  Win2000 was a good release, but XP?  Failure?

The only way to make a quality OS (for linux & windows) is to make the OS, fix all the bugs and not ADD new features.  Every release just needs to fix bugs ONLY!  As long as OS's add features they will create more and more bugs.

 
quote:
Actually you HAVE to fucking do something because Linux is probably the most retartedly hard OS ever.



Linux is hard?  Is that because schools and our parents didn't train you on Linux since you were born?  Linux is hard to some people because its a new OS for them.  Someone going from Linux all there life and never touched a windows machine will think windows is the hardest OS.
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: billy_gates on 2 January 2004, 23:51
don't buy BMW's
not only are they now ugly and look like acuras
but a lot of their systems are based off of WIndows CE.


Oh and X11, can I have your edsel
I've always wanted an Edsel

[ January 02, 2004: Message edited by: jeffberg: Mac Capitalist ]

Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: billy_gates on 3 January 2004, 05:44
there is one word to describe why linux is hard:
dependencies
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: Pantso on 3 January 2004, 23:49
quote:
Originally posted by jeffberg: Mac Capitalist:
there is one word to describe why linux is hard:
dependencies



Well, I actually have more than one word as a reply and solution to your problem:

apt-get --> Debian GNU/Linux, Libranet, Knoppix etc

Synaptic --> RedHat, Fedora and so on

URPMI --> Mandrake...

So, unless you haven't installed a GNU/Linux distribution for a long time, then you have no excuse for saying that dependencies are still a problem  ;)

Oh, and enjoy Windows if you like it so much. You know something? I must have woken up in another Universe when the Blaster and its variants appeared a few months ago  :rolleyes:  Ah, and I promise that I won't mention the 70.000+ worms, trojans and viruses (not virii) that exist for Windows.

Have a nice day...  (http://tongue.gif)
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: TheQuirk on 4 January 2004, 03:10
quote:
Originally posted by Panos:
(not virii)


Burn him! (Actually, I approve of your correct spelling.)
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: Kintaro on 4 January 2004, 11:47
quote:
Originally posted by Emiko:
X11: Erudition is a gay name.       dont  waste  time posting hypocritical and worthless comments.

Everyone who  says they hate MS should have a valid reason, not something based on their own  technological lack of schooling of overcompensated ignorance.   You need hands on to know even begin to know what you are talking about.

Ive been using windows since windows95, and I may not be the most enthusiastic about windows, or where MS is going, personally, I think   it would be best of all if Microsoft put out windows barebones, and offered 3rd party software by companies who make better products be installed in their OS, as a way to help competition and the science community at large.

Windows could come as this kind of installer:

OS: Windows Version Here

Choose your Media Player:

You may choose between these players and may pick more then 1 be installed.

1) Windows Media Player 10
2) Winamp
3....

Choose your Mail Program:

1) Outlook Express
2) Eudora
3....

Choose your browser:

1) Internet Explorer
2) IE with Avant
3) Mozilla
4) Mozilla Firebird
5....
 

That way MS would be  helping the community.



What, your an idiot, there holding onto billions when there are people starving, so fuck off, your the wanker, how are they helping anything?

They might be helping your land_of_the_free oppressors get rich, but there not helping anywhere else.

So go get fucked and die, you wanker.
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: Xeen on 10 April 2004, 05:05
Another article oiginally linked to by Canadian Lover:

http://cars.ign.com/articles/505/505123p1.html?fromint=1 (http://cars.ign.com/articles/505/505123p1.html?fromint=1)
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: zolo on 11 April 2004, 02:23
Good, bad and ugly...

Micro-car Museum (http://www.microcarmuseum.com/)
Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: solarismka on 12 April 2004, 06:32
quote:
Originally posted by Jimmy don't give a shit about MS:
as I believe I've said before,

some of you guys...

1) need to learn about cars


We know about cars and this is a bad step!

 
quote:
2) blow things way outta proportion


Oh yes, mydoom was just an imagination.  Wait this is reality   and I guess your not in it.


 
quote:
"Microsoft gas"? that's about the STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD.


Yes, sorry that you were too stupid to get it.

 
quote:
I have an idea if you don't have anything intelligent to say about MS, don't say it. I'm sick of the same 5 shitty jokes over and over.


I have even a better idea!  If YOU don't have anything intelligent to say then just don't say it and i'm sick of your shitty trolling over and over again!


 
quote:
I had a windows box running right beside my Macs for months. where are all these BSODs you guys talk about? where are the problems? WHERE ARE THEY?!?!


Ooooohhh you have no BSOD, luck you.  The majority of computer users say otherwize!

 
quote:
Where were the virii, where were the worms, where were these things that ALWAYS HAPPEN to Windows?


I guess you missed that news on 'mydoom.'  


 
quote:
I'll tell you where they were...

IN YOUR HEAD.


Don't know about that.  So far you have prooven to be living in your own fantasy world!

 
quote:
In the even that nobody's noticed, Windows 98 isn't current anymore. We aren't living in the 1990s, the Decade of Mediocrity is over now. We're now in the 2000s, it's now the Decade of Marginal Quality.


you should tell m$ that.  There still making the same mistakes  (Xpee.)

 
quote:
Things are improving, and improving, and improving... everything from everybody is better than ever.


Of course Linux has improved ten times over, ten times faster than windows!

 
quote:
I don't think I've seen MS act a fool since the start of the anti-trust trials. They're certainly not doing anything I wouldn't do. I know Red Hat, Inc would do those things if they could, as would Apple.


Xp? WMP9?  these are continued mistakes born out of m$.  If they don't get it now they'll never get it.  Like wize neather will you.


 
quote:
You know it's true and you know I'm right, just as I always am.




Well, I know your a fool like you always are and you always know that I at least speak th truth that you like to deny.

[ April 11, 2004: Message edited by: -=Solaris.M.K.A=- ]

Title: Get ready for shitty cars everywhere
Post by: FCouples on 13 April 2004, 07:22
If I ever get a car with Microshit installed i'm reformatting it and slapping linux on there.  Probably go 10 times faster and use 100 times less gas.