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Miscellaneous => The Lounge => Topic started by: 1000schnauzers on 25 December 2002, 03:04

Title: Merry Xmas, you lot.....
Post by: 1000schnauzers on 25 December 2002, 03:04
Nicholas Was...

older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die.

The dwarfish natives of the Arctic caverns did not speak his language, but conversed in their own, twittering tongue, conducted incomprehensible rituals, when they were not actually working in the factories.

Once every year they forced him, sobbing and protesting, into Endless Night. During the journey he would stand near every child in the world, leave one of the dwarves' invisible gifts by its bedside. The children slept, frozen into time.

He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and Judas. His punishment was harsher.

Ho.

Ho.

Ho.

(p.s.  I take no credit for this story, it's by Neil Gaiman)

[ December 25, 2002: Message edited by: 1000schnauzers ]

Title: Merry Xmas, you lot.....
Post by: Pissed_Macman on 25 December 2002, 05:33
Thank you, you've now ruined christmas.
Title: Merry Xmas, you lot.....
Post by: TheQuirk on 25 December 2002, 05:42
HA HA, JESUS HATES YOU.

(http://www.jesus.com/merchandise/i_hate_jesus_cap.jpg)
Title: Merry Xmas, you lot.....
Post by: cahult on 25 December 2002, 05:53
quote:
Originally posted by 1000schnauzers:
Nicholas Was...

older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die.

The dwarfish natives of the Arctic caverns did not speak his language, but conversed in their own, twittering tongue, conducted incomprehensible rituals, when they were not actually working in the factories.

Once every year they forced him, sobbing and protesting, into Endless Night. During the journey he would stand near every child in the world, leave one of the dwarves' invisible gifts by its bedside. The children slept, frozen into time.

He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and Judas. His punishment was harsher.

Ho.

Ho.

Ho.


You
Title: Merry Xmas, you lot.....
Post by: choasforages on 25 December 2002, 07:00
cthulhu bells, cthulhu bells
cthulhu has come for you
citys burning people dieing i hope you are next HEY!!!
cthulhu bells, cthulhu bells
cthulhu has come for you
citys burning people dieing i hope you are next HEY!!!


/*ryhmes in my head close enough..........*/
Title: Merry Xmas, you lot.....
Post by: Master of Reality on 25 December 2002, 08:31
Christmas is that special time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from his grave to feed on the flesh of the living, so we sing him Christmas carols to lull him back to sleep.
Title: Merry Xmas, you lot.....
Post by: Fett101 on 25 December 2002, 11:12
quote:
Originally posted by The Master of Reality / B0b:
Christmas is that special time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from his grave to feed on the flesh of the living, so we sing him Christmas carols to lull him back to sleep.



Sweet Zombie Jesus!
Title: Merry Xmas, you lot.....
Post by: cahult on 25 December 2002, 18:28
What would happen to Jesus if he was preaching today?

Get arrested and put in a lunatic asylum?
Be ignored and put in a lunatic asylum?
Title: Merry Xmas, you lot.....
Post by: slave on 26 December 2002, 01:20
quote:
Originally posted by cahult:
What would happen to Jesus if he was preaching today?

Get arrested and put in a lunatic asylum?
Be ignored and put in a lunatic asylum?


No, he'd be given his own TV show, "Crossing Over with Jesus Christ"
Title: Merry Xmas, you lot.....
Post by: xyle_one on 26 December 2002, 01:34
then, as he is saving santa from the iraqis he is shot down. christmas becomes a holiday to remember christ.

Jesus- "Santa...Why?"
Santa- "i just couldnt... i couldnt let him live. he shocked santas balls"