Stop Microsoft
Miscellaneous => The Lounge => Topic started by: Aaron Ni on 29 June 2002, 06:02
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Hello everybody, how are you?
If you've noticed a cult has recently found a small home here on the forum and some people just dont like it. So here I am providing the new alternative to the Cult of Bob!
Come and read the Principia Discordia (http://www-2.cs.cmu.edu/~tilt/principia/body.html) which includes great favorites such as Malaclypse the Second! Cabbage! And the Fifth Goddess Eris!
And dont fret about leaders because a POEE Chaplin for the Legion Of Dynamic Discord is here in your midst to lead you on! That Chaplin being me! ;)
So come on now why dontcha hey?
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o, but that would mean someone else would be the god of chaos. owell, were do you find this stuff
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We will have a utopia... by any means necassary. You will join us.
Look, looook at the pictures, and forget, forget your troubles, your stresses, your doubts and your worries, just look at the pictures......
(http://gizzard.fortunecity.co.uk/hypno/hypno.gif)(http://gizzard.fortunecity.co.uk/cultof/bullseye.gif)
You are happy, carefree and relaxed. This is what being a member of the cult of Bob is like, through your whole life you will feel this, happy, secure, no worries, no hassles, just Bob. You will be Bob, your friends will be Bob, we are all Bob. Repeat after me: "WE ARE ALL BOB". WE ARE ALL BOB. WE ARE ALL BOB. You are now one of us. Go forth, and be happy with your new calm and relaxed state of mind, and help others to become as happy as you are too. However, as soon as you leave this page, you will instantly forget you ever witnessed this brainwashing routine. You will forget, for we are all Bob (http://www.bobhub.cjb.net). Including you.
Join us.. Bliss (http://gizzard.fortunecity.co.uk/cultof/bob.html) awaits you.
[ June 29, 2002: Message edited by: Master of Reality / Bob ]
[ June 29, 2002: Message edited by: Master of Reality / Bob ]
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Join The Cult of Bob (http://gizzards.fortunecity.co.uk/cultof/bob.html) and not the evil non-bobs who are the discordians.
what the cult of Bob is all about? - it's the latest effort on creating world unity. Past utopias have failed due to idealistic plans that look great on paper, but in real life are always corrupted by money, conflicting views, baaad people or bad management.
Why is this? It's because people think too much and have different views on what a utopia should be. The answer to this? We need to stop thinking! Thinking is BLOODY DANGEROUS and will only lead to wars, famine, and back stabbing murdering types. It's well known that people who think too much can turn into goths, schizophrenics or manic depressives, it's a harsh fact that the world is evil, humanity is all wrong and needs to be destroyed, the government are out to get us and we're all getting diseases from genetically mutated food and mad cows. This is where the Cult of Bob comes in. We need to stop thinking in order to survive and be happy! To create a perfect unity in this cruel world we must lose our minds, and become perfectly harmonised zombies, incapable of emotion or rational thought! Don't you agree?
What do the cult of Bob do?
The answer to that is not very much. The best plans are always the simple ones, and that is why the cult of Bob is so perfect. As a member of the cult of Bob your role is simple:
* You will, at all convenient opportunities chant the words "We are all bob" many times, in a zombified manner.
* You will attempt to convert many other people into chanting with you. First they will think it's funny, then they will get addicted to it. Then you should direct them to this page, where they will become a member of the Bob cult.
* You will worship the Bob god, who goes under the name of Bob. Bob is a female, but that does not matter, as the cult of Bob is not gender specific. All races, genders, and animals may join with us, to create an army of Bobs, united in our cause of descriminating against NO-ONE, except non-bobs. They must be converted, or destroyed.
* You should, in time, lose as many braincells as possible. Drinking in excess, going to heavy metal clubs, or banging your head against the wall is a good way of achieving this. The cult of Bob should ideally be very stupid, and unified in their mission of chanting "we are all Bob".
* You will sacrifice food to the bob god. The Bob god likes cheese, spam, salami and alcohol. Eating hamsters is a good way of worshipping your god, see here for a good introduction to hamster eating.
* You should be happy and friendly to your fellow Bob clan. The cult of Bob will be unified in our mission, and any one with a bad word to say about another Bob will be tortured and slowly garrotted. No-one is to discriminate against another bob, no matter their colour, race, sexuality, features, or dubious smell. We WILL have utopia, by any means necessary.
* If your family persuades you against being a member of the cult of Bob, you should KILL them, because they are WRONG. However, realise that this is your own choice, and the cult of Bob takes no responsibility for any murdered family. We cannot pay legal fees for you either, as the cult of Bob is a spiritual cult, not a material one, e.g. we have no money. Due to this reason, we cannot provide members with t-shirts or keyrings either, sorry about that.
So that is what your role as a bob will entail. It's effortless, fun, you're destined to be happy. Are you interested in joining us? (http://gizzard.fortunecity.co.uk/cultof/bob.html)
[ June 29, 2002: Message edited by: Master of Reality / Bob ]
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BOB --> Have to eat hamsters
Principia Discordia --> Have to eat hot dogs
So I don't think I'll join both (http://smile.gif)
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"You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile"
Does that ring a bell? :D :D :D
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wow! discordianism must be pretty powerful if it has Bob this ruffled!
I am very interested, is discordianism an actual religion? or just a philosophy? like Buddhism?
It sounds pretty dadaist to me...
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Well if you look at the facts rather than Bob's attempt at diverting attention... The original printing and copyright of the Principia Discordia is in the year 1965. And I read on the CoB site that the CoB has been around since only... 1997? That and Malaclypse the Second wasnt the first Malaclypse! Malaclypse the Great was the original and he was around before 1965!
And yes Calum, like I said in the Mod Forum I am in reality a Discordian/Christain. I know of a few true to life Discordians that I dont talk with much because they scare me a bit. And I dont popularize the fact that I am Discordian in real life because my folks would think I'm in a cult, which I'm not because it's a religion! :D
EDIT: cahult, this is a simple guide.
Discordian = Religion
Principia Discordia = The Book of Discordianism
Discordianism = Of Discordian Ties.
All the members of this religion are free to do as they please. Also Calum, Discordianism can be both a Religion and Philosophy. It can be and is very flexible in it's meaning to you as in individual.
And also to cahult you dont have to eat the hotdogs, it could be a hamburger, porkchop, tofu chunk, peice of celery or whatever your heart desires! It is your beleif afterall! Eris isnt pushing you into anything and I'm not either. I actually prefer eating a sausage on Fridays.
[ June 29, 2002: Message edited by: Aaron-V2.0 ]
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Oh yes. This picture shows just how effective MoR's attempt at brainwashing is!
(http://us.f1.yahoofs.com/users/36be5764/bc/My+Documents/__hr_Bob_Pictures_Down.jpg?bcOxnH9AVVnH8vb2)
Looks like the CoB needs some real webhosting! (http://assaultweb.net/ubb/emoticons/121.gif)
Just hit reload in Mozilla! That's what I did.
EDIT: Fixed typo.
[ June 29, 2002: Message edited by: Aaron-V2.0 ]
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Here is my word on bob:
JUST FUCKING JOIN!!!
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so far all the Bob related propagandha seems to be exactly th3 same propaghanda that Microsoft uses.
Personally i have a problem taking the Bobs seriously, while i am actually quite interested in this discordianism thing.
Aaron, how are you justified in being both a discordian and a christian? doesn't christianity forbid any other religious belief besides its own? Also, why do you not admit your discordianism to your fellow christians since you seem to be secure in the knowledge that your beliefs are right for you?
i say these things not as a challenge, but because i am interested.
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quote:
Originally posted by Aaron-V2.0:
Oh yes. This picture shows just how effective MoR's attempt at brainwashing is!
(http://us.f1.yahoofs.com/users/36be5764/bc/My+Documents/__hr_Bob_Pictures_Down.jpg?bcOxnH9AVVnH8vb2)
Looks like the CoB needs some real webhosting! (http://assaultweb.net/ubb/emoticons/121.gif)
Just hit reload in Mozilla! That's what I did.
EDIT: Fixed typo.
[ June 29, 2002: Message edited by: Aaron-V2.0 ]
I got my webserver running last night, and plan to host The Bob Hub (http://www.bobhub.cjb.net) on my server. The Cult of Bob is not about material items, and therefore we do not have very much money, and cant afford very good hosting. You can donate towards our cause by using the 'ask Bob' search engine at CoB HQ (http://gizzard.fortunecity.co.uk/cultof/bob.html).
quote:
so far all the Bob related propagandha seems to be exactly th3 same propaghanda that Microsoft uses.
Uhhh.. no. Our schemes are much more blatantly obvious. And we dont try to trick them into joining, we force them.... or destroy them (http://smile.gif)
[ June 30, 2002: Message edited by: Master of Reality / Bob ]
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Wont hosting it yourself be a bit slow
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It will be fine.
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To be honest Calum, I'm not really uptight about religion. When it comes to particulars that are a bit assbackwards I just throw em out. But an interesting thing is that there are many who are Christain/Something, either Wiccan, Catholic, Protestant or Budhist. (Sp?)
But yeah, I'm getting into particulars here... I'll just say this. Discordianism is fun! (http://smile.gif)
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Bob is Fun, Bob is good, you will join Bob, We are all Bob. (http://chatroom.fuckmicrosoft.com:8000/images/spinsmile.gif)
[ June 30, 2002: Message edited by: Master of Reality / Bob ]
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hmmm, time to bump the wierdness up a noch,
I AM THE GOD OF CHAOS,
ENTROPY SERVES MY CUASE
YOU SHALL BOW UNTO ME
ANARCHY SHALL RUN RAMPENT
AND CITY'S SHALL BURN
IN MY WAKE,
THE BLOOD OF INOCENT SPREAD
TO SERVE MY CUASE
/*hmmmmmm, that doesn't sound half bad, wait, thats sounds like what would happen if microsoft were to controll religion too.*/
[ July 01, 2002: Message edited by: choasforages ]
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quote:
Originally posted by Refalm:
BOB --> Have to eat hamsters
Principia Discordia --> Have to eat hot dogs
So I don't think I'll join both (http://smile.gif)
You dont have to eat hamsters only to worship... But alcohol has a simlar effect!
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hey X11, your only 14 right???, what kinda laws do they have over there, or is this a less then legal approach
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there would be a minor law against hamster eating.
Also providing alcohol to X11 is illegal, so theoretically it is impossible for him to get any... it isn't illegal for him to drink it if he does get some though. Ah yes, the loophole is that he is allowed to drink alcohol in public if he is eating a meal in a licensed premises with people who are 18 years old or older, also he is allowed to drink alcohol in private at any age if his parents give him it. However, they may be breaking other laws about being responsible parents if they do so (however they may not, depends on the individual case).
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damn, it is like totally illegal for me to like touch the fire water over here. damn laws.
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[back on topic] Why not join a religion that has alcohol as part of its doctrine? Rastafarians can smoke ganja (here anyway) legally (in private) since it's part of their religion.
Actually, alcohol's shit, smoke dope if you want to get wasted on something that bad. (i don't advocate that btw)
The most similar drug to alcohol on a chemical level is heroin and alcohol causes more deaths than any other drug, by a factor of several thousand.
Finally, the least number of fatalities ever to be attached to one type of drug is a figure of two fatalities from cannabis (documented ones anyway) and both of those guys were crushed to death by bales of marijuana...
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that is totally why they should legalize weed. And even if someone drives while high.. think about it, they will be sitting in the car going 20 KPH saying, "holy shit!! we're flying done this road, dammit, i gotta slow down!!"
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Urm calum, its legal if anyone drinks in public (parks and so on period) on australia. Also its illegal to drink at resturants under 18. I can legally drink at my house or a mates place. Even if only i am there. (They had oinkers come to my school to explain it to everyone) anyway FUCK THE LAW. Theres a bakery near me that makes nice doughnuts so they have other affairs on there hands.
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I must say that discordia does have a informative guide to being a cultist: http://www.kbuxton.com/discordia/cultist.html (http://www.kbuxton.com/discordia/cultist.html)
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that is a good list right enough! it should fit right into Bobbism!
while we're on the subject of religion, i am reminded that i need to write an essay on discordianism for my new site. Aaron, can you maybe pm me the best page to link to re: discordianism and some pointers for what's best to include in such an essay? (and while i'm at it, i may as well pimp said site, the link is in my signature, go and post in the forums and make my day, eh? ta... ;) )
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Ca clunk, the thread's brought back from the grave!
And MoR, I really think your going a bit far and taking your "Bob" crap to seriously. This is all in jest and humor! Be happy, merry and gay!
Hell, maybe I'll post my site's new private section for public use when it's completed.
Just what that had to do with the topic is unknown... but I am Off-Topic man!
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probably not, then agian, if any cult gives you fruit punch, beware
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well, while i was researching the article about discordianism (which can be found here) (http://www.polytheism.cjb.net/discordianism.html) i found this page here! (http://www.illuminatus.net/hidden_threat.html) is this serious do you think? or is it more 'lunix' stuff?
what do you think, aaron? and others?
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ahh, the truth finally comes out about Discordianism. Where could you find a website like this about Bob?? No where. (and of course there is none about Integrational Polytheism because it is a serious religion). This is just proof that the world is finally coming to its sense about Discordianism. Yes this discordianism thing is evil and horrible it will brainwash you wihtout telling you, it will destroy you. What kind of cult doesnt allow the eating of hot dog buns? Sounds like a facist cult of dictators and rules. This is not the key to living together, this is the formula for destruction!! Be wary of Discordianism it will start wars, embiggen discrimination, there will be destruction and hatred, the cromulent peace forces will be enthronged in wars of hatred and violence. This discordianism must end!! it will destroy us all!
thanks for the link Calum, it will be perfect for the Bob Hub.
[ August 22, 2002: Message edited by: Master of Reality / Bob ]
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well, i'm noy sure that discordians are that big on rules and so on, they're supposed to be big on spreading confusion in fact. that's why one of their holy rites involves the eating of hamburgers, even though they are prohibited from doing so (they are also prohibited from belioeving anything they read!)
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okay, well MoR has started a new topic for the insidious threat here! (http://www.nelie.org/polytheism/forum/viewtopic.php?t=17)
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well.... this discordianism wouldnt be so bad... if it had gotten to me before Bo... I mean... Discordianism must be destroyed!!!!! We are all Bob!!!
Bobs know all about confusion, this comes with the lack of thought.